Thursday, December 11, 2008

On the Second Day of Christmas...

Plugging in...

On the second day of Christmas, my clients gave to me, TWO signifcant bonuses and a thank you to make the Tutor blush.

I was working with two clients on the same day during this month of merriment and to my astonishment, BOTH of them paid me more than what I wrote the invoices for.

The first client, not only fed me lunch and sent me home with gourmet foods for dinner, THEN she told me she was giving me more than the bill! AND THEN... she sent me an email telling me she believe she owed me more money because I must have done the math wrong - she told me to check it out in Excel, using the AutoSum formula! (We'd been working on Excel that day).

The second client flat out told me she was giving me a bonus, because, after all, it was the end of the year! We'd been working on the tedious process of online college applications, and she was thrilled that her son's future was now in the hands of the college admissions offices.

I've worked for many large corporations in the past, many of which gave out holiday bonuses, but none of those compares to the two I received this month. These were not obligatory thank yous, but heartfelt, up close and personal thank yous.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Joy to the Tutor, the Virus has Come

Plugging in...

So what boisterous Computor Tutor client was recently heard whooping it up from the home office where her laptop currently resides? Well, her name will remain anonymous, but the whooping came about from the removal of the PSW.x-VIR trojan. Never heard of it?? There are THOUSANDS of them, and they change their form and shape as often as we change our clothes!

A trojan is a software program that disguises itself as a valid or useful computer application or program. This one produced a constant pop-up that named itself as the virus, but wanted the computer user to purchase THEIR software to REMOVE it!! Kind of a double whammy.

Once the offending pop-up was gone, my client opened her email, which she hadn't been able to do for more than a week, and hollered out one, gigantic whoopee as she made her way through the 314 waiting messages. The cat, who shares the residence, was as startled as the Computor Tutor by this demonstrative show of appreciation!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gobble, Gobble

Plugging in...

Thanksgiving Greetings, Tutorees!

The turkey’s on the table,
The stock market’s in a funk.
Football’s on the HD TV,
And the kids are eating junk!

The weather’s getting funky,
Daylight savings time is gone.
The garden needs a trimming,
And leaves cover all the lawn.

But it’s not all such gloom & doom,
Our country stands proud & strong.
Look to our flag and give thanks,
Make a point to undo a wrong.

I’ve many people to thank,
For my good fortune this year.
Thank you all for calling me,
To ease your technology fear!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Mighty Bridge Baron

Plugging in...

I bid two hearts, ah, but it's not really about bidding, or playing bridge for that matter.

A client did a mighty nice thing for his lovely wife. He bought her the latest version of the computer bridge game "Bridge Baron 18". He did everything right by checking the packaging to make sure the computer met the minimum system requirements, and it did. The wife's computer was older, running Windows 2000 (fully updated) but that was OK, according to the software packaging. Two heart attacks (not literally) later, my client gave up the installation procedure and called the Tutor because... the installation trashed Windows, and I mean completely trashed. The only thing that would come on the screen was the dreaded "blue screen of death".

Although the computer could be shocked back into life by re-installing windows from an 8 year old CD, the shear age of the computer didn't warrant the time necessary to go through "physical therapy". The time and money needed for the resuscitation of the elder hardware was better spent on a newer model. I know, I know. You're thinking just because it's old, doesn't mean it's ready for the boneyard. In this case, it was purely an economical decision. AND, the boneyard is not where the elder PC is going. It's going to a rehab facility first, then to a new home. Though it can't run as fast as the new kids on the block, it still has a place in the world, ablbeit more like an assisted living place, but a viable place for a few more years of bridge playing (Bridge Baron 17 was already on the computer, and worked PERFECTLY)!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Where's de bug?

Plugging in...

Ever received an error message that asks if you want to DEBUG or CANCEL? Ever choose DEBUG? Admit it - of course you have!

A "bug" is an error in a piece of software that causes a mal-function, sometimes serious, sometimes not. A debug error message is asking if YOU want to fix the error by running the debugging program. If you didn't create the program, how are YOU going to debug it to solve the error? You'd have equal success hitting the monitor with a fly swatter than you would by attempting to open, understand, and use the software debugger!

So a client sees the error message on the screen when attempting to open GOOGLE on the internet. My client repeatedly chooses DEBUG instead of CANCEL and winds up in debugging la la land. My client is frustrated, but for some unknown reason, never chooses CANCEL. Suffice it to say, one cannot debug an error one receives on the screen in a program that one did not create. You didn't cause the error, you are just the recipient of the bad news. You can't fix the error - the originator has to do that and you will just have to wait it out until so many other people report it, it finally gets fixed.

The safe bet in approaching an error message that is incomprehensible is to find the way OUT - close, cancel, stop, exit - anything but YES, OK, I'll try it (good luck with THAT).

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Reading 101

Plugging in...


Frequently I find that I am teaching reading skills when working with computer users, be they novice or knowledgable. A niggly email spellchecker in AOL was causing a client much angst. Every time they typed in a date such as 9/08, the spell checker stopped on the number and waited for instructions before proceeding. AOL's spellchecker doesn't have many options to change, and no option is available to tell it to skip numbers.

The Tutor tried to re-create the problem, but couldn't so the Tutor watched what the client was typing and how AOL reacted. The problem and solution rose as clearly as the sun does every day. In the spellchecker window, where AOL stopped on the date 9/08, an error message clearly instructed the READER to type a date using the following format: 09/08/2008. By omitting the 4-digit year, the spellchecker couldn't decide if it was a fraction or a date AND it stated so.

Who cares, one might ask, why AOL needs to distinguish between a fraction and a date? It's not doing anything mathematical for gosh sakes - it's an EMAIL message!! But the answer was there, right on the screen, each and every time the client typed a date in their email. The client didn't see it. Reading 101 - case in point.


ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it ON the screen, is it plugged in, is it turned on?


Unplugged

Wireless Whisper-er

Plugging in...

Wireless and loving it. Yep. But when a friend came to visit a recent client, the client couldn't remember the wireless router's encryption key (fancy way of saying password) to allow them to use their laptop wirelessly at the house. The client originally had help setting up the router, a knowledgable, well meaning but West Coast-based brother. And bro couldn't remember the key either. When in doubt, reset the router and create another password. Great in theory, not quite that quick in practical terms.

Resetting the router knocked out the cablem modem from for the DSL connection too. Now the client not only didn't have a router password for securing the wireless connection from drive-by intruders but - THE INTERNET wouldn't work at all. And bro gave up trying to help via long-distance.

The Computor Tutor drove the Tutor Mobile to the client's house and proceeded to be the Wireless Whisperer. The modem and router both needed new configuration settings, and the security software need to allow the various browsers internet connections. All this because a paperclip was inserted into the reset button on the wireless router. It's OK to reset a router, but you may need more than a brother on the west coast to complete the resetting job.

The wireless router now has a password chosen by the client, and summarily recorded by the Computor Tutor. The internet is back up and running and the client's guest has a wireless internet connection on their laptop. All in a Wireless Whisperer's day.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Classic Unplugged

Plugging in...

There are those of you who are fortunate to have second homes, hide-aways, retreats, call them what you will, they pose some logistical concerns when deciding how to handle being "plugged in" to the cyberworld when in-residence.

Some of you, again the fortunate, have duplicate EVERYTHINGS at the other location - computer, printer, internet connection, all the cables, etc, etc. And some of you choose to bring your computer and its assorted paraphernalia with you. The folks who travel en-suite with myriad electronics have to not only remember to bring everything with them, BUT to bring it all back home, and remember how to connect the assortment of cables and power cords.

So the checklist is out, and you've got it all: power cord, computer, carrying case, internet cable, printer, printer cable, phone, phone charger and the list goes on for some of you. You've labeled all the pieces too, a lesson learned from the FIRST time you traveled and were stumped about what goes where, and why. It was a great summer at the fill-in-the-blank house but time to return to the main homestead.

One of my clients recently did exactly as described above - completed the checklist, brought everything home and connected the laptop as previously done several times. Feeling rather plucky, said client was all ready to get back online and the dreaded "this page cannot be displayed" reared its ugly head. The client looked at the computer in despair, for it appeared that everything was plugged in properly - it turned on, it did!

Ring, ring - Computor Tutor? Help! So I listened, had the client recycle the cable modem from Comcast, a fancy way of saying shut it off for a minute, then turn it back on. Still no connection. Client assured me things were plugged in, as per the checklist. Into the Tutor mobile I went and within thirty seconds of perusing the computer, I knew what the problem was. Yes, everything was correctly connected. The cables that were connected, that is. The culprit? A missing internet cable which was in a zip lock bag with a spare mouse and some other commuting parts.

As the saying goes, is it plugged in, is it turned on may need modification: are they ALL plugged in, are they ALL turned on?

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Digital Pictures MIA

Plugging in…

The vacation was incredible, she said. More than 300 photos captured just some of the majesty. The pocket-sized Casio camera temporarily housed those memories. Back home, the transfer of the photos finally made the to-do list several weeks after returning to the world of ho-hum. Camera in dock, transfer cable in place, software responded as expected. The photos flew onto the screen, one after the other. The camera was turned off, cable unplugged and my client sat back to view a terrific slideshow of the whole adventure. Except, uh, there were only 35 photos of the entire trip! The rest of the pictures were MIA (missing in action).

Searching in earnest began, followed by an overwhelming feeling of dread as not only were there only 35 pictures transferred, but the ENTIRE digital media memory card in the camera was EMPTY. Ugghh (polite word substituted here).

Ring, ring - Computor Tutor (CT)? A quick explanation was followed by making an appointment with CT to see:

1) were the pictures really missing on the hard drive,
2) could the pictures be recovered from the digital media memory card.

Yes, the pictures were not on the hard drive anywhere, not hiding, not mis-filed, not there, period. And yes, the digital media memory card was empty. Why? GOK (God Only Knows)! The good news? The camera had not been used to take any additional pictures since the transfer took place.

A bit of searching on the vast world wide web provided CT with a free recovery product, specifically designed for digital picture recovery. And the recovery software worked, just as described. The vacation photos were recovered and saved on the computer and the recovery software was left on the computer just in case this little missing photo caper occurs in the future.

Although the resurrection of these photos doesn't compare to some losses that others incur in their lifetimes, I felt like a minor heroine, being able to restore these photos for someone who was deeply distressed at the thought of having lost them forever. This is why I love what I do - I may not be a health care provider, the Red Cross or a firefighter, but I do my part to restore order to computer chaos.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Who stole the button?

Plugging in…


Microsoft has a habit of changing our Windows operating system software weekly for our betterment (judgement call here) or for our safety (another judgement call here). One of the "automatic updates" of late brought the Windows Live Search feature to stubborn users of Windows XP - those of us who refuse to cave to the pressures of using Vista. Someone or two, at the mighty M, think we ALL want the super, cool features of Vista on our PCs, even though we steadfastly refuse to upgrade from our stable, beloved Windows XP. So an update was pushed upon an unsuspecting client last week, and suddenly the client felt lost in a sea of new windows searching features.

What used to be a simple type-what-you're-looking for and click the Search button was no more. The original searching problem wasn't described to me in enough detail (and I clearly didn't ask all the pertinent questions, either) to give a concise telephone answer to what ended up being a very simple solution. Nuff said. The client couldn't figure out what to press AFTER they typed the name of the file they were searching for in the search box . You see, or not as the case proved, the SEARCH button was in absentia. Gone, omitted, non-existent. And no other button was substituted for the SEARCH button either.

The new Windows Search Live 4.0 assumes that whoever is using the search box, knows enough to press the ENTER key, after typing in the search criteria. Doesn't anyone at Microsoft know that to assume, makes and ass out of u and me?

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on, have you tried pressing ENTER?

Unplugged

Computer Forensics

Plugging in…

Lately I've been feeling like a member of CSI. Read on...

There once was a software soccer game, purchased by a devoted mother for her son. It was purchased from a well established, credible store, nicely shrink-wrapped, in a word, NEW. The game was given as a gift and the playing was much anticipated. But... and there's always a but, the game was missing installation instructions, the code to use the game, and also absent - what the computer required to successfully run the game. Clearly not new. Let the digging begin.

Both the mother and son tried installing the software, which went without a hitch until the young man tried to play the game. The screen went gray, with only a mouse cursor showing and the computer completely got stuck and would only work after re-starting. After hours of trying on their own to solve the problem, they called you-know-who to the scene.

I listened to the soccer tale of woe and began the process of finding the proverbial needle in the haystack. Why wouldn't the game work? I had an inkling but needed "evidence" to prove my case.

On the software packaging was the website address of the manufacturer so that's where I began. The website HELP area was limited, and did not have any search capabilities. The FAQ (frequently asked questions) area was less than helpful, too. I was looking for minimum system requirements for the game because I suspected the graphics card in the computer wasn't capable of displaying the superior graphics in the game. ALL software has minimum system requirements listed somewhere, usually on the packaging, or in the associated manual. Since the packaging was missing this critical information AND the manual was never in the box, I was running on instinct, heading for my own "goal".

I found the minimum system requirements, only after I started to buy the program on the website. I read through the requirements, closed the internet and used Windows to tell me what I needed to know about the computer in question. Through Windows' handy device manager, I was able to look at the model of the graphics card, and bingo - it was one of the "unsupported" series of graphics cards. SCORE!

The WHY won't this run question was now answered - not that this was the desired outcome, of course. Since we now knew which graphic cards the game supported, I priced them for the client to the tune of several hundred dollars. Long story short- they are buying a new computer because the one in question was old (5 years) and not worthy of the additional monies for a graphics card.

One hour later, a few more dollars, no soccer game and they are buying a new computer. Another CSI/Computor Tutor success story.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Good Will Hunting

Plugging in…

I'm not a professor at the great MIT here in Massachusetts, but I received quite the compliment from one of my Excel workshop attendees after a two-day session of Excel 2003 training. After 8 semi-grueling hours in high heat and humidity, the workshop was completed and the computer lab was vacant, except for the Tutor, who always makes sure the labs taught in are in impeccable order upon leaving (I was taught to leave things in better condition than when I found them and I'll likely be invited back).

Chairs pushed in, no rubbish left on tables, windows closed, all computers off, lights about to go off and one attendee stepped back into the room. She had her Excel handouts clutched to her chest as she spoke in a quiet, rushed voice "I feel like I just graduated from MIT" she said. She continued to let me know how much she learned, and how useful it would all be when she returned to her office and she profusely thanked me .

"How 'bout them apples" - as Matt Damon playing a janitor at MIT said in the movie Good Will Hunting!!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Tutor Tallies

Plugging in…


This may go into the hall of "who cares" fame, but with a database and a spreadsheet, one can track more useful (and useless) information than ever before!

  • Years of tracking "useless" data: Sixteen
  • Yellow Page Referrals: 91 (fingers didn't walk as much as the mouths talked)
  • Client Referrals: 363 (word of mouth rules)
  • % Time Teaching/Training: 6% for 2008
  • % Time Consulting/Troubleshooting: 94% for 2008

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Friday, May 16, 2008

Brain Pickin'

Plugging in…

What do doctors, lawyers and computer consultants ALL have in common?? No, there aren't any jokes including the three professions! But, the general public finds their brains so fascinating that they are frequently asked by friends, family and complete strangers "can I pick your brain" for a minute, hour, week, etc. Sometimes we're even offered a meal, as in "can I pick your brain over lunch?".

As flattering as it is for someone to want to get inside our heads, it is also the area from which we make our living. Knowledge is king, so it is said. But how does one think the knowledge gets into the head? Time. Time is the delivery system associated with knowledge. And time is how we bill for our "brain dumps".

While the sharing of general knowledge is a wonderful thing, it does not pay the electric bill, nor will it provide a tank of gas for the vehicle in the driveway. So don't be offended if on any given day a doctor, lawyer or computer consultant tells you their hourly "brain pickin' fee"!

"Brain pickers, brain pickers, you'd better give in because if you don't stop our heads may cave in" for lack of any information left inside them!!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

A Tight Fit

Plugging in…

Cleaning out the attic for a summer rental, a client came upon an old computer that still worked, but needed to have personal information securely removed from the hard drive before giving it to someone for the their children to use.

First problem: couldn't find the computer's power cord. Easy solution. Take the existing power cord off the computer that is working and plug it into the older computer. Client claimed: old computer worked just fine when it when into retirement in the attic.

Panic phone call: after inserting power cord into old computer, old computer won't start up, not even a hint of electricity being accepted into the ancient veins. Client tried more than one electrical outlet before placing frustrated call to Computor Tutor.

Resurrecting old computer: Computor Tutor brings another power cord to try, just in case... but realizes the problem immediately. Based on the name of this blog, can anyone guess what happened? The computer was indeed turned on, but the power cord WAS NOT pushed securely into the computer. One little nudge was all it took and the old thing sprang to life. It's not always this simple, but the client was thrilled (and chagrined) and the attic-hidden computer was given another chance to compute another day!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in SECURELY, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Monday, February 25, 2008

Haircuts

Plugging in…

Is there anything else that makes you feel better than a great haircut? Yes, I mean both men and women here. We all like the shapening up of our shaggy manes every so often. Some more often than others.

Just after the new year, the Computor Tutor was called to a clients to rescue a computer hard drive that had been re-set to factory status. What the heck does that mean, you ask? It means that someone decided, rightly or wrongly, the only way to "fix" that computer was to take it back in time so that it behaved just like it did the first day it was adopted and brought into someone's home, namely, my clients.

The distressing phone call began with apologies for not contacting the Computor Tutor first; listening to a friend, taking the computer to an unknown repair shop. After the apologies stopped, the begging started (it wasn't really necessary). Could the Computor Tutor PLEASE, PLEASE come sort out what someone else had "fixed"?? Pretty please??

Off I go to take a look at the problem child. Never mind the original fix was a bit more than what it needed, OK? What the repair shop failed to do was make a backup of the client's data and software before essentially wiping the hard drive clean. It did indeed behave like a newborn, but without any growth potential because of all the missing pieces. Being the good Tutor that I am, I checked all my previous notes regarding the client's computer, and brought along with me the pieces that were missing. Within the hour, the problem child was no more. Word: check, Email: check, Internet: check, printer driver: check. Client: HAPPY!

After many thanks and a friendly escort to the doorway out, my client paused and said with enthusiasm, "this was better than getting a great haircut". I knew exactly what she meant as her life online was now back in order and for a price that was LESS than a great haircut!

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, is it turned on?

Unplugged

Cleaning Lady Capers

Plugging in…

What do cleaning ladies and computers have in common? At first glance, not so much. We all wish we HAD cleaning ladies because they do such a good job keeping us orderly, that we have more time to spend doing the things that really interest us. Right?

Now that the house is spotless and you're ready to check your email, or transfer those digital pictures from the new pocket-size camera, or see how the weather is in oh, say, Timbuktu, you plunk yourself down with your faithful computer and WHAM - it doesn't turn on. No lights, no beeps, no nada.

First action: CALL THE COMPUTOR TUTOR. But it's a weekend, or late at night and the dreaded answering machine begins "thank you for calling the computor tutor...". You leave a message, sending out a major distress signal. No life raft coming soon, so you're on your own. You look back at your computer and put on your thinking cap. You begin to ask yourself, what has happened since the last time I turned my faithful computer on. It doesn't come right away, but eventually you snap your fingers and think: someone else has been near my computer and I know who!

You begin to do a tiny bit of math: one plus one = the cleaning ladies. They go where no person usually ventures - under the desk, the table, the area where you have old faithful plugged in. You check all the cords, they are all plugged in. Hmmm. I know the Computor Tutor always asks that question first and you've got that one covered. Hmmm. Ah ha! You look at the power strip that is home to that [lovable] tangle of cords that make your electronic gadgets sing. It looks the same, sort of.

It's an older style power strip, one that doesn't have a little led light to visibly display it's alive. Just for kicks, you press the rocker switch to the other side and the light on the desk goes on. You have an epiphany and you fall to your knees praising the computer Gods and Goddesses, IT'S A FALSE ALARM, you shriek, you get up and turn that computer on. It hums to life and you've never been so happy to hear those otherwise annoying beeps and whizzes that you usually curse everytime you turn it on.

You are so joyous that you even call the Computor Tutor back (thank you) and leave a message about the FALSE ALARM. You're laughing now, and you can imagine she might have a hint of a smile on her face too, knowing you solved your own problem. The Computor Tutor is very proud of her client and calls the client anyway, just to make sure that was indeed the only problem. It was.

So what do cleaning ladies and computers have in common? When they work, you LOVE them to pieces and when they don't, well, love is blind, right?

ALWAYS REMEMBER: before calling for help - is it plugged in, and is the power strip ON?

Unplugged